Real Men Suck D!ck — Do You?

If Real Men Suck Dick for a Billion Dollars, would you?

There’s a lot you would do for a billion dollars. The real question is what wouldn’t you do for a billion dollars. Money’s coercive nature makes you reconsider what you wouldn’t otherwise do. Getting up at 5 in the morning with a hangover. Working at that fast food joint and serving people borderline poisonous food. Tolerating an abusive manager. Taking a gig with that annoying snob of a client with a six-figure net worth.

Money is the tool–not the motive. Money is the symbol of freedom in a capitalist society.

More money= More Freedumbs

More money to go on vacation. More money to get that boob job. More money to pursue those dreams of being a producer with the best gear in your town. Everything costs money. And if we can get our hands on money, we can buy anything — even people.

We all suck dick.

There’s a lot of things we would never do for free. Hell. People resort to murdering their family for insurance money before doing sex work. Ask any man if they would rather suck their homeboy’s dick or kill them to save their mother’s life. Sucking dick is the epitome of degradation for heterosexual men. To suck dick is to submit. To be anything but heterosexual is to sacrifice manhood. Heterosexual men doing anything remotely feminine is seen as “gay.”  Behaviors associated with women are seen as weak and undesirable. This is where homophobia and misogyny intersect.

Try this experiment

Go in a room full of men and ask; “Would you suck dick for a billion dollars?” Proceed to observe the stages of grief:


Hell naw man! That’s that gay shit! I would NEVER.


Man if any man came up to me asking me to suck his dick, that’s disrespectful! I’m knocking him out! I’ll kill that nigga and take the billion dollars!


I mean… how long you gotta suck it though? Is there a confidentiality agreement?


Damn but I really gotta suck it though? I can’t just do something else for the billion dollars?


I mean nobody gotta know. Fuck it.

The Power of Suggestion

Most people will hesitate to answer. The first few will answer. Everyone else will probably wind up agreeing to the consensus. A man will say “no” in one room and say “yes” in another if you ask him again next week.

What’s the point of Real Men Suck Dick?

Two Things.

To make you question the arbitrary definition of a “Real Man.”

To make you question how money influences your everyday decisions.

Cash cow artists in the music industry sell themselves out everyday. Changing their music, their values, and more… handing over their rights to labels for a million dollar deal… But God forbid a real nigga gotta suck some dick out here for a billion dollars.

A billion dollars.

That’s 1,000 millions. Think about it.



  • Frida

    lmaoooooo your smirking between sentences

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